I’m in a better mood then I was in yesterday, but I’m still pretty sad. I feel like being at home right now is so hard. I had to go to the bank earlier & because I can’t drive by myself just yet, my mom had to take me. The whole car ride was silent. I know that she knows how I feel, yet she doesn’t acknowledge yet. That makes me feel even worse. I think I need to go see somebody. My whole family does. A professional who will get us to talk to each other because we can’t seem to do it on our own.

This sucks.

I fell like the pain I’m in is so much less important than those of others. I mean, it’s not like I get bullied constantly, or I’m physically abused. Ibe never been raped, and I’ve never really experienced the loss of a loved one. Yet I can help but feeling like my life isn’t worth living. I mean, there have been moments in the past where I’ve felt like falling off the face of the earth, but I toughed it out. But these past few weeks have just been so difficult. I’m not doing well in school, The tension going on at home is unbearable, my only real escape is work and even there it’s hell. I have been depressed before, but I got help. But I just feel like its coming back. But everytime I try to bring it up, they say I’m over reacting or being dramatic. The people I try to look to for help just turn me down. I don’t want sympathy, I just want to be able to actually talk to someone without them thinking I’m crazy.

I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’d rather be on my own, away from people then to be with them and wishing I wasn’t alive.

things would be so much eaasier if I were dead.

WHITE BOYS *drool*